[We make the following extract from one of our books--"Advice toYoung Men on their Duties and Conduct in Life."]
IF you have younger sisters, who are just entering society, all yourinterest should be awakened for them. You cannot but have seen somelittle below the surface, and already made the discovery that toofew of the young men who move about in the various social circles towhich you have admission, are fit associates for a pure-mindedwoman. Their exterior, it is true, is very fair; they sing well,they dance well, their persons are elegant, and their mannersattractive; but you have met them when they felt none of therestraints of female society, and seen them unmask their realcharacters. You can remember the ribald jest, the obscene allusion,the sneer at virtue, the unblushing acknowledgment oflicentiousness. You have heard them speak of this sweet girl, andthat pure-minded woman, in terms that would have roused your deepestindignation, had your own sister been the subject of allusion.
You may know all these things, but your innocent sisters at homecannot know them, nor see reason for shunning the society of thosewhose real characters, if revealed, would cause them to turn away indisgust and horror. From the dangers of an acquaintanceship withsuch young men it is your duty to guard your sisters; and you mustdo this more by warding off the evil than by warnings against it. Inorder to this, you should make it a point of duty always to go withyour sisters into company, and to be their companion, if possible,on all public occasions. By so doing, you can prevent theintroduction of men whose principles are bad; or, if suchintroductions are forced upon them in spite of you, can throw in atimely word of caution. This latter it may be too late to do afteran acquaintanceship is formed with a man whose character isdetestable in your eyes, provided he have a fair exterior. Yoursister will hardly be made to believe that one who is so attractivein all respects, and who can converse of virtue and honour soeloquently, can possibly have an impure or vicious mind. She willthink you prejudiced. The great thing is to guard, by every means inyour power, these innocent ones from the polluting presence of a badman. You cannot tell how soon he may win the affections of the mostinnocent, confiding, and loving of them all, and draw her off fromvirtue. And even if his designs be honourable--if he win her but towed her--her lot will be by no means an enviable one; he cannot makeher happy; for happy no pure-minded woman ever has been, or ever canbe made, by a corrupt, evil-minded, and selfish man.
You are a brother; your position is one of great responsibility; letthis be ever before your mind.
On your faithfulness to your duty, may depend a lifetime ofhappiness or misery for those who are, or ought to be, very dear toyou. But not only should you seek to guard them from the danger justalluded to--your affection for them should lead you to enter intotheir pleasures as far as in your power to do so; to give interestand variety to the home circle; to afford them, at all times, theassistance of your judgment in matters of trivial as well as graveimportance. By this you will gain their confidence and acquire aninfluence over them that may, at some later period, enable you toserve them in a moment of impending danger.
We very often--indeed, far too often--see young men with sisters whoappear to be entirely indifferent in regard to them. They rarelyvisit together; their associates, male and female, are strangers toeach other; they appear to have no common interests. This state ofthings is the fault, nine times in ten, of the young men. It is theresult of their neglect and indifference. There are very few sisterswho do not love with a most tender and unselfish regard theirbrothers, especially their elder brothers, and who would not feelhappier in being their companions than in the companionship ofalmost any one. Notwithstanding all this neglect and indifference,how willingly is every little office performed that adds to thebrother's comfort! How much care is there for him who gives back solittle in return! The sister's love is as unselfish as it isunostentatious. It is shown in acts, not in professions. How can anyyoung man be indifferent to such love? How can he fail in its fulland free reciprocation?
A regard for himself, as well as for his sisters, should lead ayoung man to be much with them. Their influence in softening,polishing, and refining his character, will be very great. They haveperceptions of the propriety and fitness of things far quicker thanhe has; and this he will soon see if he observe their remarks uponthe persons with whom they come in contact, and the circumstancesthat transpire around them. While he is reasoning on the subject,and balancing many things in his mind before coming to asatisfactory conclusion, they, by a kind of intuition, have settledthe whole matter, and settled it, he will find, truly. In the graverthings of life, a man's judgment is more to be relied upon than awoman's, because here a regular course of reasoning from premiseslaid down is required, and this a man is much more able to do than awoman; but in matters of taste and propriety, and in the quickappreciation of character, a woman's perceptions are worth far morethan a man's judgment. And in the more weighty and serious mattersof life, a man will always find that he will receive aid, in comingto a nice decision, from a wife or sister who loves him, if he willonly carefully lay the whole subject before her, with the reasonsthat appeal to his judgment, and be guided in some measure by herperceptions of what is right. This is because man is in the provinceof the understanding, which acts by thought, and woman in theprovince of the affections, which act by perceptions; not that a mandoes not have perceptions and a woman reason, but the leadingcharacteristic difference between the sexes is as stated, and eachcomes to conclusions mainly by either the one or the other of thesetwo modes. This position, which we believe to be the true one inregard to the difference between the sexes, demonstrates the greatuse of female society, especially the society of those who feel someinterest in and affection for us. In such society, there is areciprocation of benefits that is nearly, if not quite, equal. Andnowhere can this reciprocation be of greater utility than amongbrothers and sisters, just entering upon life, with all theirknowledge of human character and human life to gain.
THE END.
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