THE DANDIACAL BODY.
First, touching Dandies, let us consider, with some scientific strictness,
what a Dandy specially is. A Dandy is a Clothes-wearing Man, a Man whose
trade, office and existence consists in the wearing of Clothes. Every
faculty of his soul, spirit, purse and person is heroically consecrated to
this one object, the wearing of Clothes wisely and well: so that as others
dress to live, he lives to dress. The all-importance of Clothes, which a
German Professor, of unequalled learning and acumen, writes his enormous
Volume to demonstrate, has sprung up in the intellect of the Dandy without
effort, like an instinct of genius; he is inspired with Cloth, a Poet of
Cloth. What Teufelsdrockh would call a "Divine Idea of Cloth" is born with
him; and this, like other such Ideas, will express itself outwardly, or
wring his heart asunder with unutterable throes.
But, like a generous, creative enthusiast, he fearlessly makes his Idea an
Action; shows himself in peculiar guise to mankind; walks forth, a witness
and living Martyr to the eternal worth of Clothes. We called him a Poet:
is not his body the (stuffed) parchment-skin whereon he writes, with
cunning Huddersfield dyes, a Sonnet to his mistress' eyebrow? Say, rather,
an Epos, and _Clotha Virumque cano_, to the whole world, in Macaronic
verses, which he that runs may read. Nay, if you grant, what seems to be
admissible, that the Dandy has a Thinking-principle in him, and some
notions of Time and Space, is there not in this life-devotedness to Cloth,
in this so willing sacrifice of the Immortal to the Perishable, something
(though in reverse order) of that blending and identification of Eternity
with Time, which, as we have seen, constitutes the Prophetic character?
And now, for all this perennial Martyrdom, and Poesy, and even Prophecy,
what is it that the Dandy asks in return? Solely, we may say, that you
would recognize his existence; would admit him to be a living object; or
even failing this, a visual object, or thing that will reflect rays of
light. Your silver or your gold (beyond what the niggardly Law has already
secured him) he solicits not; simply the glance of your eyes. Understand
his mystic significance, or altogether miss and misinterpret it; do but
look at him, and he is contented. May we not well cry shame on an
ungrateful world, which refuses even this poor boon; which will waste its
optic faculty on dried Crocodiles, and Siamese Twins; and over the domestic
wonderful wonder of wonders, a live Dandy, glance with hasty indifference,
and a scarcely concealed contempt! Him no Zoologist classes among the
Mammalia, no Anatomist dissects with care: when did we see any injected
Preparation of the Dandy in our Museums; any specimen of him preserved in
spirits! Lord Herringbone may dress himself in a snuff-brown suit, with
snuff-brown shirt and shoes: it skills not; the undiscerning public,
occupied with grosser wants, passes by regardless on the other side.
The age of Curiosity, like that of Chivalry, is indeed, properly speaking,
gone. Yet perhaps only gone to sleep: for here arises the
Clothes-Philosophy to resuscitate, strangely enough, both the one and the
other! Should sound views of this Science come to prevail, the essential
nature of the British Dandy, and the mystic significance that lies in him,
cannot always remain hidden under laughable and lamentable hallucination.
The following long Extract from Professor Teufelsdrockh may set the matter,
if not in its true light, yet in the way towards such. It is to be
regretted, however, that here, as so often elsewhere, the Professor's keen
philosophic perspicacity is somewhat marred by a certain mixture of almost
owlish purblindness, or else of some perverse, ineffectual, ironic
tendency; our readers shall judge which:--
"In these distracted times," writes he, "when the Religious Principle,
driven out of most Churches, either lies unseen in the hearts of good men,
looking and longing and silently working there towards some new Revelation;
or else wanders homeless over the world, like a disembodied soul seeking
its terrestrial organization,--into how many strange shapes, of
Superstition and Fanaticism, does it not tentatively and errantly cast
itself! The higher Enthusiasm of man's nature is for the while without
Exponent; yet does it continue indestructible, unweariedly active, and work
blindly in the great chaotic deep: thus Sect after Sect, and Church after
Church, bodies itself forth, and melts again into new metamorphosis.
"Chiefly is this observable in England, which, as the wealthiest and
worst-instructed of European nations, offers precisely the elements (of
Heat, namely, and of Darkness), in which such moon-calves and monstrosities
are best generated. Among the newer Sects of that country, one of the most
notable, and closely connected with our present subject, is that of the
_Dandies_; concerning which, what little information I have been able to
procure may fitly stand here.
"It is true, certain of the English Journalists, men generally without
sense for the Religious Principle, or judgment for its manifestations,
speak, in their brief enigmatic notices, as if this were perhaps rather a
Secular Sect, and not a Religious one; nevertheless, to the psychologic eye
its devotional and even sacrificial character plainly enough reveals
itself. Whether it belongs to the class of Fetish-worships, or of
Hero-worships or Polytheisms, or to what other class, may in the present
state of our intelligence remain undecided (_schweben_). A certain touch
of Manicheism, not indeed in the Gnostic shape, is discernible enough; also
(for human Error walks in a cycle, and reappears at intervals) a
not-inconsiderable resemblance to that Superstition of the Athos Monks, who
by fasting from all nourishment, and looking intensely for a length of time
into their own navels, came to discern therein the true Apocalypse of
Nature, and Heaven Unveiled. To my own surmise, it appears as if this
Dandiacal Sect were but a new modification, adapted to the new time, of
that primeval Superstition, _Self-worship_; which Zerdusht, Quangfoutchee,
Mahomet, and others, strove rather to subordinate and restrain than to
eradicate; and which only in the purer forms of Religion has been
altogether rejected. Wherefore, if any one chooses to name it revived
Ahrimanism, or a new figure of Demon-Worship, I have, so far as is yet
visible, no objection.
"For the rest, these people, animated with the zeal of a new Sect, display
courage and perseverance, and what force there is in man's nature, though
never so enslaved. They affect great purity and separatism; distinguish
themselves by a particular costume (whereof some notices were given in the
earlier part of this Volume); likewise, so far as possible, by a particular
speech (apparently some broken _Lingua-franca_, or English-French); and, on
the whole, strive to maintain a true Nazarene deportment, and keep
themselves unspotted from the world.
"They have their Temples, whereof the chief, as the Jewish Temple did,
stands in their metropolis; and is named _Almack's_, a word of uncertain
etymology. They worship principally by night; and have their High-priests
and High-priestesses, who, however, do not continue for life. The rites,
by some supposed to be of the Menadic sort, or perhaps with an Eleusinian
or Cabiric character, are held strictly secret. Nor are Sacred Books
wanting to the Sect; these they call _Fashionable Novels_: however, the
Canon is not completed, and some are canonical and others not.
"Of such Sacred Books I, not without expense, procured myself some samples;
and in hope of true insight, and with the zeal which beseems an Inquirer
into Clothes, set to interpret and study them. But wholly to no purpose:
that tough faculty of reading, for which the world will not refuse me
credit, was here for the first time foiled and set at naught. In vain that
I summoned my whole energies (_mich weidlich anstrengte_), and did my very
utmost; at the end of some short space, I was uniformly seized with not so
much what I can call a drumming in my ears, as a kind of infinite,
unsufferable, Jew's-harping and scrannel-piping there; to which the
frightfullest species of Magnetic Sleep soon supervened. And if I strove
to shake this away, and absolutely would not yield, there came a hitherto
unfelt sensation, as of _Delirium Tremens_, and a melting into total
deliquium: till at last, by order of the Doctor, dreading ruin to my whole
intellectual and bodily faculties, and a general breaking up of the
constitution, I reluctantly but determinedly forbore. Was there some
miracle at work here; like those Fire-balls, and supernal and infernal
prodigies, which, in the case of the Jewish Mysteries, have also more than
once scared back the Alien? Be this as it may, such failure on my part,
after best efforts, must excuse the imperfection of this sketch; altogether
incomplete, yet the completest I could give of a Sect too singular to be
omitted.
"Loving my own life and senses as I do, no power shall induce me, as a
private individual, to open another _Fashionable Novel_. But luckily, in
this dilemma, comes a hand from the clouds; whereby if not victory,
deliverance is held out to me. Round one of those Book-packages, which the
_Stillschweigen'sche Buchhandlung_ is in the habit of importing from
England, come, as is usual, various waste printed-sheets
(_Maculatur-blatter_), by way of interior wrappage: into these the
Clothes-Philosopher, with a certain Mahometan reverence even for
waste-paper, where curious knowledge will sometimes hover, disdains not to
cast his eye. Readers may judge of his astonishment when on such a defaced
stray-sheet, probably the outcast fraction of some English Periodical, such
as they name _Magazine_, appears something like a Dissertation on this very
subject of _Fashionable Novels_! It sets out, indeed, chiefly from a
Secular point of view; directing itself, not without asperity, against some
to me unknown individual named _Pelham_, who seems to be a Mystagogue, and
leading Teacher and Preacher of the Sect; so that, what indeed otherwise
was not to be expected in such a fugitive fragmentary sheet, the true
secret, the Religious physiognomy and physiology of the Dandiacal Body, is
nowise laid fully open there. Nevertheless, scattered lights do from time
to time sparkle out, whereby I have endeavored to profit. Nay, in one
passage selected from the Prophecies, or Mythic Theogonies, or whatever
they are (for the style seems very mixed) of this Mystagogue, I find what
appears to be a Confession of Faith, or Whole Duty of Man, according to the
tenets of that Sect. Which Confession or Whole Duty, therefore, as
proceeding from a source so authentic, I shall here arrange under Seven
distinct Articles, and in very abridged shape lay before the German world;
therewith taking leave of this matter. Observe also, that to avoid
possibility of error, I, as far as may be, quote literally from the
Original:--
ARTICLES OF FAITH.
'1. Coats should have nothing of the triangle about them; at the same
time, wrinkles behind should be carefully avoided.'2. The collar is a very important point: it should be low behind, and
slightly rolled.'3. No license of fashion can allow a man of delicate taste to adopt the
posterial luxuriance of a Hottentot.'4. There is safety in a swallow-tail.
'5. The good sense of a gentleman is nowhere more finely developed than in
his rings.'6. It is permitted to mankind, under certain restrictions, to wear white
waistcoats.'7. The trousers must be exceedingly tight across the hips.'
"All which Propositions I, for the present, content myself with modestly
but peremptorily and irrevocably denying.
"In strange contrast with this Dandiacal Body stands another British Sect,
originally, as I understand, of Ireland, where its chief seat still is; but
known also in the main Island, and indeed everywhere rapidly spreading. As
this Sect has hitherto emitted no Canonical Books, it remains to me in the
same state of obscurity as the Dandiacal, which has published Books that
the unassisted human faculties are inadequate to read. The members appear
to be designated by a considerable diversity of names, according to their
various places of establishment: in England they are generally called the
_Drudge_ Sect; also, unphilosophically enough, the _White Negroes_; and,
chiefly in scorn by those of other communions, the _Ragged-Beggar_ Sect.
In Scotland, again, I find them entitled _Hallanshakers_, or the _Stook of
Duds_ Sect; any individual communicant is named _Stook of Duds_ (that is,
Shock of Rags), in allusion, doubtless, to their professional Costume.
While in Ireland, which, as mentioned, is their grand parent hive, they go
by a perplexing multiplicity of designations, such as _Bogtrotters,
Redshanks, Ribbonmen, Cottiers, Peep-of-Day Boys, Babes of the Wood,
Rockites, Poor-Slaves_: which last, however, seems to be the primary and
generic name; whereto, probably enough, the others are only subsidiary
species, or slight varieties; or, at most, propagated offsets from the
parent stem, whose minute subdivisions, and shades of difference, it were
here loss of time to dwell on. Enough for us to understand, what seems
indubitable, that the original Sect is that of the _Poor-Slaves_; whose
doctrines, practices, and fundamental characteristics pervade and animate
the whole Body, howsoever denominated or outwardly diversified.
"The precise speculative tenets of this Brotherhood: how the Universe, and
Man, and Man's Life, picture themselves to the mind of an Irish Poor-Slave;
with what feelings and opinions he looks forward on the Future, round on
the Present, back on the Past, it were extremely difficult to specify.
Something Monastic there appears to be in their Constitution: we find them
bound by the two Monastic Vows, of Poverty and Obedience; which vows,
especially the former, it is said, they observe with great strictness; nay,
as I have understood it, they are pledged, and be it by any solemn Nazarene
ordination or not, irrevocably consecrated thereto, even _before_ birth.
That the third Monastic Vow, of Chastity, is rigidly enforced among them, I
find no ground to conjecture.
"Furthermore, they appear to imitate the Dandiacal Sect in their grand
principle of wearing a peculiar Costume. Of which Irish Poor-Slave Costume
no description will indeed be found in the present Volume; for this reason,
that by the imperfect organ of Language it did not seem describable. Their
raiment consists of innumerable skirts, lappets and irregular wings, of all
cloths and of all colors; through the labyrinthic intricacies of which
their bodies are introduced by some unknown process. It is fastened
together by a multiplex combination of buttons, thrums and skewers; to
which frequently is added a girdle of leather, of hempen or even of straw
rope, round the loins. To straw rope, indeed, they seem partial, and often
wear it by way of sandals. In head-dress they affect a certain freedom:
hats with partial brim, without crown, or with only a loose, hinged, or
valve crown; in the former case, they sometimes invert the hat, and wear it
brim uppermost, like a university-cap, with what view is unknown.
"The name Poor-Slaves seems to indicate a Slavonic, Polish, or Russian
origin: not so, however, the interior essence and spirit of their
Superstition, which rather displays a Teutonic or Druidical character. One
might fancy them worshippers of Hertha, or the Earth: for they dig and
affectionately work continually in her bosom; or else, shut up in private
Oratories, meditate and manipulate the substances derived from her; seldom
looking up towards the Heavenly Luminaries, and then with comparative
indifference. Like the Druids, on the other hand, they live in dark
dwellings; often even breaking their glass windows, where they find such,
and stuffing them up with pieces of raiment, or other opaque substances,
till the fit obscurity is restored. Again, like all followers of
Nature-Worship, they are liable to out-breakings of an enthusiasm rising to
ferocity; and burn men, if not in wicker idols, yet in sod cottages.
"In respect of diet, they have also their observances. All Poor-Slaves are
Rhizophagous (or Root-eaters); a few are Ichthyophagous, and use Salted
Herrings: other animal food they abstain from; except indeed, with perhaps
some strange inverted fragment of a Brahminical feeling, such animals as
die a natural death. Their universal sustenance is the root named Potato,
cooked by fire alone; and generally without condiment or relish of any
kind, save an unknown condiment named _Point_, into the meaning of which I
have vainly inquired; the victual _Potatoes-and-Point_ not appearing, at
least not with specific accuracy of description, in any European
Cookery-Book whatever. For drink, they use, with an almost epigrammatic
counterpoise of taste, Milk, which is the mildest of liquors, and
_Potheen_, which is the fiercest. This latter I have tasted, as well as
the English _Blue-Ruin_, and the Scotch _Whiskey_, analogous fluids used by
the Sect in those countries: it evidently contains some form of alcohol,
in the highest state of concentration, though disguised with acrid oils;
and is, on the whole, the most pungent substance known to me,--indeed, a
perfect liquid fire. In all their Religious Solemnities, Potheen is said
to be an indispensable requisite, and largely consumed.
"An Irish Traveller, of perhaps common veracity, who presents himself under
the to me unmeaning title of _The late John Bernard_, offers the following
sketch of a domestic establishment, the inmates whereof, though such is not
stated expressly, appear to have been of that Faith. Thereby shall my
German readers now behold an Irish Poor-Slave, as it were with their own
eyes; and even see him at meat. Moreover, in the so precious waste-paper
sheet above mentioned, I have found some corresponding picture of a
Dandiacal Household, painted by that same Dandiacal Mystagogue, or
Theogonist: this also, by way of counterpart and contrast, the world shall
look into.
"First, therefore, of the Poor-Slave, who appears likewise to have been a
species of Innkeeper. I quote from the original:
POOR-SLAVE HOUSEHOLD.
"'The furniture of this Caravansera consisted of a large iron Pot, two
oaken Tables, two Benches, two Chairs, and a Potheen Noggin. There was a
Loft above (attainable by a ladder), upon which the inmates slept; and the
space below was divided by a hurdle into two Apartments; the one for their
cow and pig, the other for themselves and guests. On entering the house we
discovered the family, eleven in number, at dinner: the father sitting at
the top, the mother at the bottom, the children on each side, of a large
oaken Board, which was scooped out in the middle, like a trough, to receive
the contents of their Pot of Potatoes. Little holes were cut at equal
distances to contain Salt; and a bowl of Milk stood on the table: all the
luxuries of meat and beer, bread, knives and dishes were dispensed with.'
The Poor-Slave himself our Traveller found, as he says, broad-backed,
black-browed, of great personal strength, and mouth from ear to ear. His
Wife was a sun-browned but well-featured woman; and his young ones, bare
and chubby, had the appetite of ravens. Of their Philosophical or
Religious tenets or observances, no notice or hint.
"But now, secondly, of the Dandiacal Household; in which, truly, that
often-mentioned Mystagogue and inspired Penman himself has his abode:--
DANDIACAL HOUSEHOLD.
"'A Dressing-room splendidly furnished; violet-colored curtains, chairs and
ottomans of the same hue. Two full-length Mirrors are placed, one on each
side of a table, which supports the luxuries of the Toilet. Several
Bottles of Perfumes, arranged in a peculiar fashion, stand upon a smaller
table of mother-of-pearl: opposite to these are placed the appurtenances
of Lavation richly wrought in frosted silver. A Wardrobe of Buhl is on the
left; the doors of which, being partly open, discover a profusion of
Clothes; Shoes of a singularly small size monopolize the lower shelves.
Fronting the wardrobe a door ajar gives some slight glimpse of a Bath-room.
Folding-doors in the background.--Enter the Author,' our Theogonist in
person, 'obsequiously preceded by a French Valet, in white silk Jacket and
cambric Apron.'
"Such are the two Sects which, at this moment, divide the more unsettled
portion of the British People; and agitate that ever-vexed country. To the
eye of the political Seer, their mutual relation, pregnant with the
elements of discord and hostility, is far from consoling. These two
principles of Dandiacal Self-worship or Demon-worship, and Poor-Slavish or
Drudgical Earth-worship, or whatever that same Drudgism may be, do as yet
indeed manifest themselves under distant and nowise considerable shapes:
nevertheless, in their roots and subterranean ramifications, they extend
through the entire structure of Society, and work unweariedly in the secret
depths of English national Existence; striving to separate and isolate it
into two contradictory, uncommunicating masses.
"In numbers, and even individual strength, the Poor-Slaves or Drudges, it
would seem, are hourly increasing. The Dandiacal, again, is by nature no
proselytizing Sect; but it boasts of great hereditary resources, and is
strong by union; whereas the Drudges, split into parties, have as yet no
rallying-point; or at best only co-operate by means of partial secret
affiliations. If, indeed, there were to arise a _Communion of Drudges_, as
there is already a Communion of Saints, what strangest effects would follow
therefrom! Dandyism as yet affects to look down on Drudgism: but perhaps
the hour of trial, when it will be practically seen which ought to look
down, and which up, is not so distant.
"To me it seems probable that the two Sects will one day part England
between them; each recruiting itself from the intermediate ranks, till
there be none left to enlist on either side. Those Dandiacal Manicheans,
with the host of Dandyizing Christians, will form one body: the Drudges,
gathering round them whosoever is Drudgical, be he Christian or Infidel
Pagan; sweeping up likewise all manner of Utilitarians, Radicals,
refractory Pot-wallopers, and so forth, into their general mass, will form
another. I could liken Dandyism and Drudgism to two bottomless boiling
Whirlpools that had broken out on opposite quarters of the firm land: as
yet they appear only disquieted, foolishly bubbling wells, which man's art
might cover in; yet mark them, their diameter is daily widening: they are
hollow Cones that boil up from the infinite Deep, over which your firm land
is but a thin crust or rind! Thus daily is the intermediate land crumbling
in, daily the empire of the two Buchan-Bullers extending; till now there is
but a foot-plank, a mere film of Land between them; this too is washed
away: and then--we have the true Hell of Waters, and Noah's Deluge is
out-deluged!
"Or better, I might call them two boundless, and indeed unexampled Electric
Machines (turned by the 'Machinery of Society'), with batteries of opposite
quality; Drudgism the Negative, Dandyism the Positive; one attracts hourly
towards it and appropriates all the Positive Electricity of the nation
(namely, the Money thereof); the other is equally busy with the Negative
(that is to say the Hunger), which is equally potent. Hitherto you see
only partial transient sparkles and sputters: but wait a little, till the
entire nation is in an electric state: till your whole vital Electricity,
no longer healthfully Neutral, is cut into two isolated portions of
Positive and Negative (of Money and of Hunger); and stands there bottled up
in two World-Batteries! The stirring of a child's finger brings the two
together; and then--What then? The Earth is but shivered into impalpable
smoke by that Doom's thunder-peal; the Sun misses one of his Planets in
Space, and thenceforth there are no eclipses of the Moon.--Or better still,
I might liken"--
Oh, enough, enough of likenings and similitudes; in excess of which, truly,
it is hard to say whether Teufelsdrockh or ourselves sin the more.
We have often blamed him for a habit of wire-drawing and over-refining;
from of old we have been familiar with his tendency to Mysticism and
Religiosity, whereby in everything he was still scenting out Religion: but
never perhaps did these amaurosis-suffusions so cloud and distort his
otherwise most piercing vision, as in this of the _Dandiacal Body_! Or was
there something of intended satire; is the Professor and Seer not quite the
blinkard he affects to be? Of an ordinary mortal we should have decisively
answered in the affirmative; but with a Teufelsdrockh there ever hovers
some shade of doubt. In the mean while, if satire were actually intended,
the case is little better. There are not wanting men who will answer:
Does your Professor take us for simpletons? His irony has overshot itself;
we see through it, and perhaps through him.